I Hate Disney Princesses
I hate them. I hate when a ruler is portrayed as if they were a normal person throughout a movie. How am I supposed to interpret a story like that? What kind of a story is that to tell kids?
Of course it’s not realistic. I get it. It’s a story for children. A fairy tale. Yet somehow we continue telling ourselves these stories after we’re adults. We repeat them as if they were true, as if it were at all plausible that people like us are at the top. It isn’t. We aren’t. These stories are told over and over to reinforce the idea that our masters’ power is justified because they understand us. It isn’t. They don’t.
Sure, there are myths about how Steve Jobs started Apple in his garage. So did Jeff Bezos. And Disney. And the Google guys. Isn’t it so kooky how billionaires start multinational corporations out of their garages? Such Cinderella stories.
But you’re telling me that Jeff Bezos understands normal people when in the 90s he left Wall Street, taking millions of investment dollars from his family and friends to start Amazon? You’re telling me Bill Gates understands normal people when his mom knew the leaders of IBM, the company who first bought Microsoft’s software? You’re telling me Elon Musk understands normal people when he was born into a family who controlled an emerald mine in Africa and profited from apartheid? You’re telling me that these people understand you, a normal person?
If you’re a child then by all means, enjoy your fairy tale princesses. But if you’re an adult and you don’t hate billionaires, you really should start.
A billionaire wakes up every day with the ability to radically improve the lives of millions of people and yet this person does not, because to do so would affect this person’s status. As a result, millions of people suffer and die. People could be spared from starvation and disease. People could be spared from oppression and exploitation. Massive human misery could be prevented if only the billionaire stopped being a billionaire and gave all their resources to improve these problems. They could create food and shelter. They could support responsible leaders. They could put life ahead of profit. They could do any of these things by spending their power and becoming like the rest of us. But they don’t.
Instead of improving the system, these people spend their wealth on pet projects. They do space things, LARPing as astronauts. They throw fractions of their money at all kinds of popular apolitical charities to compensate for their toxic public perceptions. They especially love doing these things when they can turn a profit simultaneously. But for all of their loud public displays, our rulers never loosen the death grip they have on the reins of power. They never will.
Back in the day these people were called capitalist pigs, but that really is unfair to pigs. Pigs are sweet, sensitive creatures. These people are parasites. They hoard their wealth and deploy it in vast sums (vast for us but paltry for them) to twist our institutions, our planet, and our souls. Why? So that they can hoard more. They’re fucking dragons, not princesses. There is something deeply wrong with them. They are not our friends.
So stop believing in your Disney princesses now please. Because it’s pretty annoying when you confuse your kooky, goofy, imaginary rich friends with the capricious monsters who share their names and dominate the rest of us here in reality.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.